‘Our inner life is complete when it merges into Nature and becomes one with it’ (Bataille / Iversen: 2010: 33)
Taking some time out from the randomness that appeared to be accumulating I decided to focus my mind on an apple, a quiet moment of contemplation to sharpen my perceptive skills. I was beginning to feel that I was loosing the art of looking closely that I so frequently tell my pupils to do. This process (as always) leads to interesting and unforeseen outcomes, some of which I will be transferring to the 50-hour drawing.
The drawing of the apple was made using a black biro; a medium that I am not overly familiar with when it comes to drawing. I soon became conscious of a different use of mark making where I was building form through an almost continuous flow of small free movements, for the most part using the biro quite lightly and layering for the darker (red) areas. Not only were colour, reflection and shadow dictating the pressures and movements but responding to the questionable solidity of the thing. The apple was no longer solid.
Solidity is an illusion.
Now I was in the realm of quantum physics, a world of waves and particles where everything is composed of atoms; each with a core nucleus orbited by satellite electrons.
The rest is empty space.
I eat an apple every day, frequently whilst driving my car. Perhaps this is just another habitual challenge unconsciously installed alongside the many others – I like a challenge, and I also like a little risk. Often the core is discarded onto the floor of the passenger side. Occasionally left to fester for a couple of days. This may seem gross but it is safer than holding onto the wet core whilst driving or indeed throwing the core outside whilst driving. It could be argued that the act of eating the apple whilst driving is already potentially dangerous enough without adding to that potential.
After my experience of drawing the apple the act of eating the apple changed. Perhaps because I had perceived both the beauty and bruises within the apple the act of biting and chewing became quite violent: As violent as a car crash.
The violent act of biting into the apple
The universe dribbles down my tongue
Chance had also played its part in my choice of subject here. I had clung onto this beautiful accident created by a discarded apple core interacting with paper towels used to blot paint, found in my studio bin.
I could see the universe in this and although such complexity would be impossible for me to recreate I make a note to include an element of chance within my drawing.
‘Everthing that comes from us freely without intervention from speculative ideas represents us’ Tristan Tzara
I am now ready to begin.